I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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