Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
