it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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