you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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