Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
