Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
