is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
