windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
