Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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