I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
