I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just forgot I was standing up.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
