It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
