It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Actions speak louder than pants.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
