Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
