How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh god it's open bar.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
