Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
