Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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