Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
