Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
