I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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