I think my vagina is haunted
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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