You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
