My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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