Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
