So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
