apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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