wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
