The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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