Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
