Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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