i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
