Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
