I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
