the day after is always just damage control
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
