Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
