her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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