Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
