I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
