oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
