Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
