he puts the penis in happiness.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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