It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
