I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
