We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm passing your future prison.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
