omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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