I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
