You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
