what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
