i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
