Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
