watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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